it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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