sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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