He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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