That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
