he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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