Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
