I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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