yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize