I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
