I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
