There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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