I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
