Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize