It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
