I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
