Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
