it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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