i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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