So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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