i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
