I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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