So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
