It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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