Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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