on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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