They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
