we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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