Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
