Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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