You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
