I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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