I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
home. puking in laundry basket.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
