I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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