i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
