I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I didn't notice because vodka
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm like, not good at living.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
