I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
