It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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