If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
