Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
