There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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