He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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