My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
