I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
