how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
