i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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