So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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