just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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