He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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