The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
