I met the friendliest cop last night
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
