So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
