At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize
