why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dick very happy bro
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
