I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
