Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
