I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
