This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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