Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
