Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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