Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
