I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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