I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
