All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
