okay pat passed out under dana's car
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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