this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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