They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
