I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Crop dusting thru forever 21
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
