How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
