anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
